Understand cancer

Sharing your cancer diagnosis

Learn ways to share information about your cancer diagnosis with loved ones

Cancer may be hard to deal with all alone. You have full control over if, when, and how much you share about your diagnosis.

Talking about your cancer diagnosis

From the National Cancer Institute (NCI)

The information below is based on information originally published by the National Cancer Institute (NCI), the US government’s main agency for cancer research.

Talking about it may not be easy at first, but for many people, sharing thoughts and feelings about cancer helps them cope. Here are some tips for you:

Choose a good listener

You may not need someone to give you advice or tell you what to do. Instead, you may want someone who wants to hear about and try to understand what life is like for you right now. You may need to look outside your family to find such a person.

Choose a good time to share

When you feel comfortable, choose a time that feels right to you for sharing your thoughts and feelings with others about cancer.

Understand feelings of anger

Sometimes angry words come from emotions other than anger, like frustration, worry, or sadness. Don’t run away from these feelings—share them and try to understand them.

Be true to your feelings

Remember that it’s okay to be in a bad mood. Be honest with yourself and talk about what you are feeling. Pretending to be cheerful when you’re not may keep you from getting the help you need.

If you’re not ready to share

You have full control of when, if, and how much you share about your diagnosis. Although talking about it may not be easy at first, most people find that sharing their thoughts and feelings helps them deal with their cancer.

Turn to community support

You might find it helpful to talk about your feelings with people who aren’t family or friends. Instead, you might want to find a support group with others who have cancer or talk with a counselor. Check out these online resources and organizations in your community.

To find more information, keep reading Taking Time, an NCI resource that may help you and your loved ones understand what you may be going through.

How to talk to a child about a loved one's cancer diagnosis

From Harvard Health Publishing

Here’s help for telling your child that someone they love is seriously ill.

4 minute read

Recommended books

The books below are divided by age group and focus on helping children better understand their parent’s cancer diagnosis.

For younger children:

Butterfly Kisses and Wishes on Wings by Ellen McVicker
Hair for Mama by Kelly A. Tinkham
Nowhere Hair by Sue Glader

For older children:

Our Family Has Cancer Too by Christine Clifford
The Year My Mother Was Bald by Ann Speltz

What’s next

Finding a support group

Who is on your care team

When to seek a second opinion

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